Relay for Life

Well me and my mom (along with my sister for a little bit and a bunch of people from her work *walmart*) did the relay for life last night. It was our very first time doing it and well after everything that happened with my grandma it just seemed the natural thing to do. It was an AMAZING event that I’ve so proud to say I was a part of and something we will be doing for many years to come. We got there at 7:45pm last night and walked (on and off) until about 5:45am this morning. Of course my legs are in a ton of pain and i’m just wiped out but again it is something that I’m very proud to say I was a part of. Well here are some pictures:

Cell phones….cell phones….cell phones

Man I don’t know about you but i hate getting a phone then after about 6 months it’s not working and can be replaced but i really don’t like any of the phones. Or I see one that i REALLY Love but the carrier is different. Or how about you get the right phone and right everything then get sucky customer service or they change all your rates and what not? Well then you need to check out Visit CellSwapper. It’s super easy to use and offers a way to get a shorter contract or get out of your current one. I can see a lot of people needing this site as cell phones are just wonky lately….or maybe it’s just mine lol!

Check MD

I can’t count the number of times I’ve needed to check on how well a doctor is or even find a good one in our area. I stumbled upon this site: Checkmd.com It was really simple to use and helpful in finding the new dentist I need as well as one for Owen too. I think that this site would be wonderful for those new mom’s that don’t know where to start with a pedi or someone who just moved to a new town!

{no title really}

So I ran across this site today on buzzagent.com called Christiania Crowns and it is a site about the vodka named Christiania of course. Christiania is the worlds smoothest vodka and has been six times distilled, charcoal filtered and aerated from organic Norwegian potatoes and pure Norwegian spring water, following Christiania’s 400-year old recipe. It’s a well put together site with just the right amount of flashy graphics without making it look really clustered or hard to navigate. They have a “crowns” system where you earn “crowns” to buy things. There are a lot of REALLY nice things in there. So make sure you visit Christiania Crowns

a woah moment with Owen

So last night me and Owen were playing pretend restaurant and well he was running the krusty krab and what not then about an hour later he goes “so mom do you and great grandma want coffee?” I’m like woah what did you say? (he’s never mentioned my grandma since she passed and my grandma ALWAYS had coffee and always use to “order” it when her and oj played restaurant) it was weird because it just all out of no where. then he handed me a coffee and one to great grandma next to me….it was just a wow moment lol

thought that was really interesting as he hasn’t spoken of it since he gave great grandma coffee….

Just So anyone knows

I’m sorry if my posts seems down and depressed lately, as you’ve probably read my grandma passed on a month ago from lung cancer and well it’s still very rough and it’s not processing all that well. So usually I post what i’m feeling and well that’s how I’ve been feeling.

((hug)) thanks to those that stop and leave comments, i love comments lol.

Butterfly Kisses…..

“There’s two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she’s
daddy’s little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; “Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it’s my first ride.”
“I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried.”
In all that I’ve done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She’s looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.

But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
“You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don’t mind I’m only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time.”
With all that I’ve done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She’ll change her name today.
She’ll make a promise and I’ll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I’m thinking and I said “I’m not
sure-I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl.”
She leaned over…gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
“Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it’s just about time.”
“Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don’t cry!”

Oh, with all that I’ve done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses-I couldn’t ask God for more, man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go, but I’ll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.”

It was grandma’s favorite song and I remember sitting with her in the car just “bopping” along to the song (as she would’ve said), and it was one of the songs playing at the funeral. It gets easier I know, but I don’t know when. I miss her so much and just feel like it’s a dream and I can’t wake up from it……still not real.

I made this scrapbook page from a Collab Kit my best friend Lauren Grier created with Shawna Clingerman and Dani Mogstad. The proceeds go to the Susan G. Komen cancer foundation and is only available til the end of June. Also if you purchase it by June 13th, you will recieve a free hybrid quick page set with the kit. You can find the kit

here

Well I hope everyone has a great rest of the weekend and give those loved ones an extra hug or phone call today!

1 Month already?!

It still seems like it was just yesterday that she passed away and here it is a month already. it’s just crazy. I guess I’m doing good. It’s one of those mind blowing life moments that you think will never happen, but it does. Almost like a horrible scene in some movie except I can’t stop the movie and then call her. I don’t think i’ve really processed it yet and still in denial about it. But well I guess i should update from the funeral on right?

It went good. It was hard to see her but that’s life right? I was amazed at the turn out, she really did touch everyone she met. She didn’t care who you were, but you were always invited in for a cup of coffee (or a snack) and good confersation. I even got up and read my poem for her (the first poem listed for grandma) and I’m so glad that I did because I think i’d regret it if i didn’t. Going to the grave site was hard but good. She’s placed right next to my grandpa Kaja. The after dinner thingy went good as well. It was good to have everyone there laughing and talking and the kids playing. That is exactly what she would’ve wanted. She would’ve wanted everyone to have good conversation and get something to eat. She always worried we didn’t get enough to eat.

Mother’s day was hard, as i expected it to be. I broke down at his sister’s house. it was just too much and i was just waiting for her to call me and tell me happy mother’s day. But it was even harder to go to the grave since the grass had not grown over {obviously}. But I talked to her for a little bit and she let me know she was there. Then by the time I got back to his sister’s house mom was on her way up so I went back up there and rode home with her. Mom put up a wind chime that grandma would’ve loved.

Well since then i’ve had a couple break downs, the week after mother’s day. I had to get on another med to control the anxiety that i’ve been having so I’m on 2 20mg Capsules of Prozac and a 150mg tablet of welbutrin every morning. They have been working really good. so that is a plus. I was almost off my anti-depressant but well I knew it was time to get back on it when i was snapping at owen more then needed. I’ve also been put on a generic sleep aid as needed but I haven’t been using it. I feel like people are looking at me like i’m a druggie or something or they think i’m a hypocondriac as i’ve had SO many health issues this year it’s not crazy. I also got glasses last week. It’s really only for one eye and it’s not that strong of a lense in it, but they’ve helped sooo much.It was something that needed to be done but i just kept putting it off until now. I’m just glad some of them are starting to get better, something needs to this year.

I haven’t been up to the grave since Mother’s day but I’m hoping to go up there this week as they got the headstone on and I’d like to go see it. maybe that will help some. I just want everyone to let them people that are super important to you just how much you love them and make sure you make time for them because you never know when it’s their time…..then the what-if’s start to drive you insane.

-Brandy

A Dyson Giveaway?!

Yup that is right, Kristin over at An Ordinary Life has the best giveaway ever! You can win your very own Dyson!! oh my. I don’t know about you but I’ve wanted one since they first came out but couldn’t justify spending all that cash on a vacuum. But I was so excited to hear about this giveaway I just had to let everyone know about it.

With a three year old, a dog that sheds, lot of traffic on the rug daily, a 1 year old niece that comes over a lot and a messy husband, vacuuming just is not any fun at all. It would be a dream to have a dyson because then I know my floors really are clean and I wouldn’t feel embarrassed to have people lay on it or even my 1 year old niece play on it. This would be an absolute life saver for me as I’ve went through about 4 vacuums already and my last one is about on it’s last leg as well. So that is why I could really use a dyson.

Now it’s your turn to enter. Just visit kristin’s blog and follow her instructions to enter. They are super simple and there is even a way to earn an extra entry! Can’t wait to see who the winner is, but hurry it ends June 25th!

-Brandy