Dear Dora,
I hear that you had a birthday recently and I just want to say Happy Birthday to you. I’m sure you had a big birthday bash and don’t worry I’m not mad about not getting an invitation. Don’t worry I’m sure the mailman just lost it, you know how careless those guys are, what with dogs chasing them and all.
Now another thing I’d like to talk about is your listening, I’m starting to think you may have a problem dear. I could understand that you maybe didn’t hear the friends watching once or even twice, but to have them screaming at you is a little rediculous don’t you think? I am surprised your mother hasn’t made a doctor’s appointment yet for you.
But then that is probably because she lets you wander all over God’s creation doing what ever you please. We live in a technology filled world were EVERY person has a cell phone and you’re telling me your mother didn’t at least give you one to call if you were in an emergency? What with that creepy Swiper the fox that follows you around I’m quite shocked she hasn’t. Speaking of creepy things and techonology, why didn’t your parents at least give you a GPS? I would think that would be more reliable than a talking map. Speaking of the talking map, if he talks why do you keep asking us a million times where something is? I’m also starting to question if you need glasses because 9 times out of 10 the object is right behind you. This is very old and while I love that I can plop my children down and they learn a foreign language, I am not sure I like you teaching them to act dumb. I mean you’re an explorer shouldn’t you be able to do this on your own?
Also after we complete the problem I don’t like you taking credit for all my hard work. I mean I’m the one yelling at the map, telling you where Swiper is, showing you the objects, and even helping you when you can’t see what is in your never ending backpack. I don’t see where you helped solve anything. This all seems so misleading and defintiely teachs the kids that if you tell them no swiping you’ll still have your stuff. I’m sorry but all you end up with is a black eye and all your stuff stolen … not fair at all. So while I enjoy the adventures we go on, I don’t like how you are so oblivious to everything, I mean what is up with Boots and Izza? We all hear the way she talks to Boots but he just doesn’t get it. He’s a blue talking monkey with red boots that hangs out with a girl that has a talking map a bottomless talking backpack, he can not be picky with things that like him. I’m sorry if this ruined your birthday high but I just had to get it out Dora, that’s what go friends do right? I just think you need a little help before we can hang out again. Maybe parents that actually care where you’re going, though if all you do is act deaf and blind at home I can see why they never want you there, and who you’re talking to would do you some good. Again this is just from one friend to the next, remember I love you Dora!
Love your best friend forever,
Me
p.s. This letter is just a joke and based off all those funny (well to me) groups you see on Facebook If you’d like to join this meme then head over to Written by Mys
![](https://i0.wp.com/i46.tinypic.com/2wf5w7t.png)