You spend hours online, around town, going store to store, or worse a combination of the above hoping that out of the hundred job applications at least ONE person would call back. You spend your days GLUED to your phone because heaven forbid you miss the most important call ever. Quickly shooing family and friends off the phone as to not tie up the line …. even though you have call waiting.
Then one early morning your phone rings, you jump out of bed so quick your husband thinks he’s been having an affair with Flash. Of course you try to calm yourself down AND wake up at the same time as to not sound groggy or anything other than eager, happy, and calm on the phone. You answer and hear the words you’ve been waiting MONTHS to hear “We’d love to schedule an appointment with you.” Calmly you schedule the interview, double check to make sure you’ve hung up the phone, and scream excitedly as you do your ultra cool celebration dance (so what if it’s only ultra cool to you) of course waking everyone up in the process.
Next comes the VERY important task of what to wear? You of course can NOT find the entire outfit at the same time. You’ll have your best dress shirt found but can’t find your pants. ‘Don’t panic’ you calmly tell yourself and start to politely pull out all your drawers one at a time to see if you can find them. When you do you’ll next be looking for the lost dress shoes since you can’t very well show up to the interview in your favorite worn out Chuck Taylors. This causes a panic and while you’re thrashing around your room like some crazed animal the offspring will of course need SOMETHING. This causes you to start howling like a jungle animal that you have to do EVERYTHING and just can’t pause until you find your shoes. Which in the end you know you’re going to have to suck it up and buy new ones, only to find your others AFTER the interview.
Interview time comes and you’ve got everything you need. So excited you end up 60 minutes early to your interview. Of course this causes you to panic and you start arguing with yourself (In your head of course you wouldn’t want to look like a crazy lady). After what feels like an eternity you’ve passed enough time to show up a few minutes early. You ask where you’re suppose to go and blindly walk around the building trying to remember the directions you received from your (hopefully) future co-worker (while silently cursing at yourself for not coming in sooner since you’re obviously lost). Finally you find the office and are relived to find out you are still a little early. Waiting .. waiting … ready … ready .. finally someone comes out and says you’re next. This is where it gets ugly.
You hear the words NO unemployed person wants to hear … “Um … hm … uh Please excuse me for not having your paperwork or anything I didn’t know we were hiring and just found out I had to do your interview” Did you hear that? Listen a little carefully. Yup you are correct that is the sound of my heart sinking faster than the Titanic. You talk to yourself into calming down enough to not reach over the ridiculously long table and throttle her. At this point you’re ready to just go home but of course they have to act like they are going to consider you for a position they didn’t even know needed anyone. You answer awkward questions, explain your work history looks like crap because you’ve been raising your beautiful offspring. Which no one cares about or even takes into consideration. Don’t they know what kind of skills they are missing out on as they turn their noses up at us Stay At Home Mothers? We’re referees, personal chiefs/drivers, we have to manage our time wisely to get everything done all the while multi-tasking so good it would make your head spin. But no when they hear those words you’re choking on they think of one word LAZY.
Of course they have to end the interview by walking around the store showing you everything for when you get hired. All the while you know they are pulling your leg just from how they are talking, why not call it a day and not waste anyone’s time and be done with the interview? Well because they are getting paid to waste your time. Why else would someone call up someone for an interview and conduct it while walking around the store? The store isn’t that big so obviously what ever I looked like wasn’t right for you. I’m sorry if I’m not preppy enough, tall enough, or what ever it is you’re looking for but what you’re missing is that I’m still a PERSON not just a name, number, and reference listed on a paper. Do you get kicks out of stringing people? Getting a job is just like getting in a relationship. You have a few bad apples that nearly kills it for the whole bunch. But when you find that one good apply you hold it because you know how special it is …. even if you’d rather gouge your eyes out with a rusty spork.
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