Dear #ButtBible I Miss You

I never thought I’d say that but I do miss you. Sadly what’s keeping me away my love is my ankle. Yes I know I sprained it about a month ago but I it’s still giving me trouble and thus I’ve been afraid to do any workouts with it. Though I decided in my moment of not getting any sleep that after all the distractions have left the house, it’ll be just you and I getting our workout on. I know you’re worried about my ankle but I still have my air cast so I’m going to strap that baby on we should be good to go. Plus if it makes you feel better, I’m just going to start all over with Day 1 except I’ve got weights now lol and stick to the upper workouts until I feel confident my ankle will not revolt against me. Now please remember I may curse your name and talk badly about you after it’s all said and done. This might not even happen until the next day, but be prepared that it will happen. Just know this post was written out of love and that you’re the only program I’ve found that is worth sticking too. This has to be worth the verbal abuse you’ll hear from me afterwards right? It’s all out of love and I know I’ll not only look great thanks to you but feel a lot better on the inside. This has been a great stress reliever for me as well.

So until next time,

#ExTv Butt Bible Update & Progress

(c) asifthebes @ sxc.hu

Since we were at the in-laws today I decided to be brave and step on the scale. I haven’t worked out in a month and I’m bloated from my monthly ‘friend’ so I was nervous about what the number might be. Surprisingly enough it’s LOWER than my post about being a klutzy girl. According to the scale I’m down another 3lbs. This made me happy because I was nervous I was getting the weight put back on. I’m hoping to start doing the arm weights portion of my Butt Bible workouts this week and slowly start back into the routines. My ankle is a still sore and bruised slightly so no working out until it’s fully healed. Thankfully I’ve been watching how much soda I take in and have been drinking more water. That’s been a big factor I think. Hopefully the next update will be about me getting back into the routine!

The Story of #ExTv’s Butt Bible & A Klutzy Girl

I know you’ve been keeping up with my Butt Bible posts, you’ll know I’m kicking butt and taking names when it comes to loosing this chub I have going on. Well I sadly admit I haven’t done it in about 2 weeks. The first week was my period and I tried to give Plasma so I was full of water for 3 days before I realized I had baby veins and can’t give plasma. Then this week was the insane mess of back to school and well the lovely new accessory of having a sprained ankle. How did that happen you ask? Well because I’m a klutz and gravity hates me.

Actually what happened was CreativelyDad and myself were out walking. We’ve been doing this since for 2 days. I figured it’d help him with his back after he had a shot on Monday for his back. Wednesday was going great. Thursday we walked for quite awhile. Well on the way back home my knee gave out and next thing I know I’m on the ground hearing a crack sound. I just had to hobble along the 100 yards or so home because well he just had a shot a couple days ago and couldn’t carry me. I iced it and decided I needed a nap. About 2:00pm I get up and it’s still swollen so I have my grandma take me to immediate care (which is actually really slow lol). After sitting for about 2 hours I find out it’s just sprained (though close to being fractured) and well I’m left with this lovely ‘accessory’ for the next week:

Let’s say it sucks because well they are working on the front of our apartment so it’s pretty much walking along side the building in the dirt/mulch …. not fun with a sprained ankle … also even though it’s 4 stairs, before the air cast it felt like a 100. I was actually happy the air cast helped getting back down them easier as I had to crawl up them when I left. Sometimes it seems to be a little bit better but then it stiffens up and we’re back to square one. I don’t expect to walk on it now but the swelling is down a little and I have only had to take a tension headache pill when I got home (after today I had a killer tension headache). So until this heals I’ll be on a break from my beloved Butt Bible workouts are on hold.

Can’t Sleep? Let’s Yoga!

I know I mentioned yesterday that I can’t find a gym I like. Well I finally took a look at the exercise videos that Comcast offers their OnDemand customers. I have to admit that I was more than a little overwhelmed. I wish they would sort them into the Beginner/Intermediate/Advanced category just because I wasn’t sure what were for advanced people and what was for those just starting out until I actually started the video. Also it was a wake up that I need to get me some workout equipment, but baby steps I suppose lol. Also so excited to announce I’m 2 days ‘clean’ from Mountain Dew. I don’t actually miss it. I’m starting to incorporate more water into my daily activities. I was looking at Walmart for the Britta Bottle but oddly enough they didn’t carry it. Thankfully I seen it at Walgreens. We tried to use the Pur water filer tonight but they won’t attach to the kitchen OR bathroom sink so that sucks. But I still managed to get 8 oz of water in today and am aiming for another 2 glasses before today is over. Also I did 40 minutes of work out videos off the OnDemand thanks to the ExerciseTv section. Today I did 10 minute Pilates Abs, 10 Minute Abs and Back work out, and 20 minute Hip, Bun, Thigh Yoga … let me tell you that I am worn out already. I also am taking Oj out to run with the neighbor boys so that means more rough housing for me I’m sure. Also aiming for one more workout video while Oj naps. Even if by some chance I don’t get anymore exercise videos in today I’m pretty excited of my start for the week.

Weight Reality Hits Hard

 Growing up I was always the skinny kid, the girl with the great metabolism. I wasn’t afraid of my appetite even if I knew someday it’d catch up to me … today was that day I was hit with a giant sack of reality. But I need to be honest with myself and admit that I had a self-diagnosed eating disorder during high school. It started freshman year and lasted sadly until I became pregnant with my son (end of senior year). I’m not proud of it in any way, shape, or form. It was unhealthy of me to just stop eating. I’d eat maybe something small at lunch, or something my Grandparents brought me over. After that it was easy for me to not eat just because I was old enough to make my own meals. All I had to tell my mother was I already ate or I wasn’t hungry at that moment and would eat later. Then I’d just ‘forget’ to eat. It went along with my cutting and just overall depression I can see that now. So I fully believe that’s why this realty of me being a “heavy” girl is hard for me to swallow.

Before I became pregnant with my son I was 5’3 and weighted in at 105 but sometimes 110lbs which would send me into a panic. When I became pregnant with my son I was one of those unfortunante people that had severe ‘morning’ sickness. I couldn’t keep anything down, no prenatal vitamins, not even stomache acid. It was the worst 3 months of my life I can tell you that. I honestly don’t know how I was able to give birth to a healthy 6lb baby boy. When I was finally able to see my doctor they had me weighted in at 90lbs … so I had lost close to 20lbs just from getting sick … weight I couldn’t afford to lose honestly. It didn’t help that after I was done getting sick I couldn’t keep down ANY dairy products. I had to take those chalky nasty calcium chews … which are yes GROSS. Just looking at my prom photo you can see how sickly I look … I don’t even really look pregnant here. I ended up weighting 125lbs when I delivered Owen and a couple days later was down to 120lbs. I was really happy to be here weight wise. I liked how I looked and didn’t want to be the unhealthy weight I was before. Then tragedy struck … I lost my (grand)mother to lung cancer.
 This has probably been the worst 3 years of my life and I’m still trying to learn how to deal with her not being here, the empty hole that’s left in my body/life. It’s hard for me because I just feel so lost without her and I’m not sure how to pick myself up and carry on without her. She was always there to help me figure the tough stuff out and I know Jeff tries but it’s just not the same thing. So without even realizing it, I turned to food as a comfort. My appetite grew and so did my soda intake. It’s to the point now where I am now trying to not only deal with the grieving process 3 years later but also to adjust to being the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life. I’m weighting in at about 145-150 and I know on my 5’3 frame that it doesn’t carry well … believe me. I haven’t found a gym that I feel comfortable in (we’ve tried 2 of them) so I need to rely on what I resources I have available. I want to get in a habit of using the free workout videos that are on my OnDemand. I used the yoga one time … and felt really good but I can’t do it for one day and then a week later here we are without me doing the video. It doesn’t help myself any at all. I can’t see results if I don’t stick to something. Getting this out here, hell even putting the photo out there for everyone to see is my wake up call. I need to stick to something and do it now so that I can be happy with myself. I don’t want to go dramatic with it, just 10-20lbs and I’d be a happy woman. I need to do this for Owen and if we ever want to have more kids, I need to do it for that as well. I need to use this for my weight loss journal just to keep myself accountable for what I’m doing or not doing. If you notice I’m slacking, please don’t hesitate to yell at me on Twitter or Facebook or even in the comments.