Slice of Life Sunday

well my prompt that I chose this week is “Pitter Patter of Little Feet”…..now before anyone gets all excited or scared (lol) NO I’m not expecting lol. This is just something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately so away we go:

Growing up I remember telling my mom I’d NEVER EVER give birth to a child because I knew how bad it was going to hurt and me and pain are NOT friendly lol. I always said that I’d adopt. Well then Senior year of high school hit and about about 7 months into the school year I find out I’m PREGNANT……….oh my gawd….yes it was a life changer for sure. Yes, I had sex with my now husband, Yes he was the first guy I’d ever had sex with. It was a hard thing to explain to my mom that I just knew he was who I was going to marry. Of course having a child this early wasn’t in the game plan I had wrote down, as I watch him over there acting like a crazy person playing video games and talking to his imaginary friends, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I was terrified at first, I admit, I did think about abortion, but the moment I went in and heard his heart beat and saw him on the monitor, I bawled and I just knew he was here to save me. And it’s been 4 years since that ultra sound and he’ll be 4 on the 16th….and I have went through this very hard fact of life 5 months ago, I lost my grandma to bone cancer……it stopped my world and put me into a dark dark place that I’m slowly climbing out of. Though I know if it wasn’t for O that I would still be in that dark place. He’s helped me refocus on that moment in time and realized she’s watching me and helping me to make sure I am doing the best I possibly can with him…I know she’s sending me little gestures about how I’m doing a great job (she’d always tell me about 20 times a visit how well I’m doing…..something a mother to a wild toddler who took forever to potty train and wont tell you his abc’s or 123’s *though he does know them* loves/needs to hear)

So I’ve been thinking and I’ve decided that we need to try soon for another one. I was hoping for an august baby, but really we’d have to get pregnant almost now lmao and I’m sure that wont happen (grandma’s birthday was in August) , and my siblings and me are 4 years apart while jeff and his are quite a few years apart, so we don’t know when but in the next year we might have another one…eek. I don’t know I just have this growing fear that if I don’t have anymore soon that I never will have anymore children….and we’re also looking to adopt after this next child because I really do still want to adopt a child.

Well there is my slice of life for this sunday, hope everyone has a great day 🙂

Slice of Life Sunday

I chose topic three “writer’s choice” here goes.

Well the slice of life that sticks out today would be jeff getting hired into Lowe’s. It was a huge relief for us as we had been worrying so much about it. It’s been a rough and exhausting 5 years together it really has. We’ve been through a number of family deaths, just recently a close family member to me passed away (5/2/08…RIP Grandma) and we’ve found out we handle things like this in different manners. We’ve been through a couple weddings, many holidays and birthdays, even the birth of our son, our wedding day and high school graduation….but also in those 5 years, we’ve been through 2 separations…one I moved out, the second one we had a live in separation. I thought we were done this time, but well I think it was the results of losing my grandma, how quickly her lung cancer progressed, and him not having a job for 6 months that led to the big blow up. They say you take things out on the ones you love the hardest and well being together 24/7 doesn’t help any does it? So about 2 months later I realized after talking to mom I don’t want to leave…..I’ve invested 5 years of my life into this man and relationship, we’ve made a beautiful almost 4 year old little man that has changed my life in a million ways, I just can’t throw this all away. So it was decided that starting January of next year, we’re going to call around and get prices for counseling and see where that takes us. I mean we can’t handle this ourselves and getting married at 19, having a baby 2 months before that, and all the stresses of the world today, i think it will really help….so that is the story of me and jeff….well the condensed version I guess. I just typed and this is what came out lol.